“Fine, have your fucking Caliphate” declares fed up America to ISIS after Donald Trump reaches new low in approval ratings

In one of the most stunning political turnarounds in history, 76% of Americans surveyed in a recent opinion poll have expressed support for ISIS establishing an Islamic Caliphate in the United States rather than America having to continue with what is now widely accepted to be the utterly disastrous presidency of Donald Trump.

The poll by Ipsos MORI for the Daily Slabber was carried out in the wake of President Trump’s about-turn on immigration, which seen even former stalwart supporters such as Ann Coulter and many of the ‘Make American Great Again’ crowd give up on his presidency.

“Please, please, just put a burka over the Statue of Liberty and be done with it,” pleaded one respondent to our poll question, a Mrs Jennifer Zucker of New York. “I might die from the brutal, fascist regime ISIS would impose on America, but I am definitely going to die of fucking embarrassment if Trump continues as the spokesman for America. I mean, did you see the furore he caused with that goddamn Tweet about the London tube bombing? Jesus wept.”