Catalonia independence referendum: The people of Northern Ireland give their verdict

Ahead of tomorrow’s controversial independence referendum in Catalonia, the Daily Slabber has taken to the streets of Northern Ireland to ask local people for their views on a vote that, for obvious reasons, many political heads here may be watching carefully.

First of all the Slabber visited Tyrone and spoke to Muck McChuckinton, a 20 year old republican student and ladder holder for Sinn Fein.

The Daily Slabber: Are you for or against the independence of Catalonia, Muck?

Muck: I am definitely for the freedom of Catalonia so I am hey. For far too long the people of Catalonia have been ruled over by a repressive, outside government that doesn’t have the right to tell Catalans what to do.

The Daily Slabber: But wouldn’t independence mean the partition of Spain? Are republicans for partitioning countries now?

Muck: Up the Ra! Tiocfaidh ar la! Get out of here before I get my muckers together to give you a booting.

We also visited the Shankill Road and spoke to 56 year old loyalist community representative Neal Capper.

The Daily Slabber: Are you for or against the independence of Catalonia, Neal?

Neal: I’m dead against it so I am, them Catalan rebels need to be dealt with the way Franco would have dealt with them.

The Daily Slabber: So are you as a loyalist now against the partitioning of countries and the rights of a culturally different people to be independent of the larger population mass in a geographical area?

Neal: No surrender! Remember 1690! Get you the fuck out of here before I have your car burned.

When contacted for a statement a Catalan government spokesman said, “No one gives a fuck what people in Northern Ireland think. Go away now.”