Yoda’s yo ma: New Spide Wars trailer is released

Excitement is building for the latest installment in the Spide Wars movie saga after the trailer for the upcoming film was released.

Spide Wars: A New Hood has been revealed as the official title and the storyline promises plenty of action as our hero Luke Smicktacher escapes from imperial captivity and meets up with his old prison mate the south Armagh smuggler Oul Haun Solo and his 7ft retarded hirsute friend Cheaptobaccy and they together hijack a Death Star on the Alderaanstown Road and take it on a joyride across the galaxy. It follows on from the previous installment Spide Wars: Revenge of the Smick that included the stunning revelation that C3-IPLO, the gold chain-adorned droid who knows six million ways to say ‘You startin?’ and who carries his skinny arms out in front of him to try and make himself look hard, was actually Smicktacher’s secret father, after having had an affair years earlier with Princess Latisha (played by Belfast stunner Millie O’Beese). No one will ever forget the immortal line delivered by C3-IPLO, “I’m yer da ye wee cunt ye” to which Smicktacher replied “I don’t give a fuck who ye are, hand me over them keys to yer X-Wing or I’ll put this hammer through yer fucking head”. The comeback line to that, “Aye yer ma’s fanny was as big as the Sarlacc Pit and had more men in it at a time anyway the durty haur” will itself go down in movie history.

‘A New Hood’ will also see the return of the vile drug dealing loyalist gangster Jabba the Hunn, played by Stephen Nolan. The film is produced by Harvey Wankstain and is directed by Stephen Stealberg and will be released in six months with time off for good behaviour.