Sex pests accused of being Westminster politicians

The world of sex pests, perverts and gropers is reeling after being hit by a series of sensational allegations claiming that some members its community are involved in Westminster politics.

The accusations have so far been made against four degenerates, all of whom have now been suspended from the Perverts Guild, but inside sources say that this is just the tip of a very large iceberg of seediness and sleaze and that many more sex pests are said to now be living in fear of being exposed as MPs as evidence mounts of the scandal that has the sexual deviant community cringing with embarrassment and asking itself ‘How many of us knew about this and yet failed to act?’

One prominent pervert we spoke to, serial groper, toilet pest and recreational gas mask-wearer Juan King, told us that no matter the truth of the allegations that even the very whiff of them was enough to make the Perverts Guild enact the suspensions and call for a full inquiry against any members now or in the future accused of entering Westminster as Members of Parliament. “Whatever the truth behind each individual case, mud like this sticks and the name of each deviant accused of being an MP – whether that person is really guilty of such sleaziness or not – will be forever sullied,” said Mr King. “I feel sorry for any innocent pervert caught up in this but we have to be seen to be acting in a tough manner lest all the rest of the flashers, panties sniffers, voyeurs and basement gimps get a bad name by association.”