Africa to hold ‘Bob Aid’ concert to help people forced to suffer listening to Bob Geldof

The African Union has unveiled plans to hold a special fundraising ‘Bob Aid’ concert to help people in Ireland and in Britain who have suffered years of listening to the unending sanctimonious spewings of Bob Geldof.

“For the millions of Irish and British people who have wished for decades that they were dead after suffering through yet another self-serving publicity stunt by this hypocritical tax-dodging holier-than-thou multi-multi-multi-multi-millionaire Establishment-loving false rebel one hit wonder cunt, we say to Africa ‘Just give us your fucking money so we can send it to them to get blind drunk on and forget for even a night that the cunt exists at all’,” said African Union chairman Alpha Condé, saying the charity concert to be held in Sudan will feature Africa’s top pop stars and that all proceeds will be sent to victims of Bob Geldof’s unbearable cuntiness.

The move comes after Irish president Michael D. Higgins said that the fact that Irish-born Geldof resides in Britain “equalises” the history of the two countries. “England gave us 800 years of occupation, famine, genocide, war and partition. We gave them this cunt Geldof. I think the score has been evened up rightly,” said President Higgins.