Trump drinks tears of children after telling them there is no Santa

US President Donald Trump has been condemned for inviting children along to a White House Christmas party just to whisper in their ears that there is no such thing as Santa and then collecting their tears in little vials that he drunk later on in bed with Melania while cackling about how he has gone mad with power.

President Trump defended his actions with a Tweet pointing out that none of the four to eight-year-old children had voted for him and furthermore that their expectations that they would be getting something for nothing from Santa Claus marked them out as Communist supporters of Crooked Hillary.

One father who took his two children to the ill-fated party, John Malcolmson from Virginia, said that he only went because he “of course” doesn’t believe that Trump exists and wanted to see who they had got to play him. “The person in the Trump suit was really good I have to say,” said Malcolmson. “He came off just the way the character does on tv: buffoonish, hilariously mentally unstable, loud-mouthed and chillingly psychotic. The only problem was the cheap orange rubber mask the actor was wearing, it just didn’t seem real at all.”