Plot to kill Theresa May foiled after it’s discovered she is already dead

A plot by radical Islamist terrorists to storm Downing Street and use knives to assassinate British Prime Minister Theresa May was thwarted after it was discovered that she had died months ago.

A Downing Street spokesperson confirmed both the terror plot and the death of Mrs. May, saying that she had “just curled up and died sometime in the summer” and that the government had been wheeling her corpse around to Brexit meetings with the Europeans “who hadn’t noticed anything was amiss because she was just as good a negotiator as ever.”

Police have not charged two men with plotting to stab Theresa May in the back. Boris Johnson and Michael Gove will not appear in court later today.