Bono in critical condition after being knocked down by speedboat while out for walk on lake

U2 singer Bono is in a coma in hospital after being knocked down by a speedboat today whilst on his early morning stroll across a lake near his Dublin home.

The driver of the speedboat has been arrested on suspicion of dangerous driving but pleaded with a court at his bail hearing that Bono had walked straight into his path without looking where he was going. “He just came out of nowhere,” said the driver, 52 year old Norman White. “He wasn’t looking where he was going at all, maybe it was those sunglasses he was wearing for some unknown reason in January, or maybe he was so deep in thought about how he was going to save the world today that he just lost track of what was around him at the time.”

The Edge earlier told reporters outside the hospital where his bandmate is receiving critical care that Bono could easily heal himself of his injuries just by placing his own hands on his head but this can only be possible if he first awakens out of his coma.