Jerrus Christ, the bearded prince of peace, yesterday declared to his devoted disciples “My earthly work here is done, I will leave you now to continue it for me,” before ascending above them all in a white cloud.
Jerrus, who has always maintained that he has spent his entire life purely in pursuit of peace with the occupying Romans and always strenuously denied being the militant who led the violent attack on the money lenders at the Temple, announced his stepping down as the leader of the Disciples at a special Ard Fheis at which he anointed his chosen successor.
As he floated away from them on his white cloud he lifted up his hands and blessed them and then verily did sayeth unto them, “And surely I am with you always. Pulling your strings and making words come out of your mouths.”
And they fell on their knees and worshipped him.