“Yes I am gay” confirms Taoiseach to Sammy Wilson “and by fuck I’d give that sweet ripe ass of yours some serious, serious dunging”

Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has responded after DUP MP Sammy Wilson appeared to take a swipe at his sexuality on Twitter, with the Irish leader affirming that he is indeed gay and what’s more has been daily dreaming of “decimating with extreme vigour” Mr Wilson’s bare backside ever since photographs of it appeared in the Sunday World some 20 years ago.

“That ass, that magnificent, divinely-spun pink church of flesh, like two virgin moons meeting lips together, like fleshy pillars in the temple of Adonis, parting to open the way to brown heaven. Fuck I’d give that hole of his some tara roding altogether,” said the Taoiseach earlier, saying that he first knew for sure that he was gay when he saw those images in the Sunday World as a teenager, and admitting that his sole reason for entering politics was the hope of someday meeting Mr Wilson just so he could be in the same room as his ass.

Sammy Wilson though has firmly rejected Mr Varadkar’s declaration of love for his posterior and poured cold water on any hopes that the two would get together in a hands-across-the-divide romance. “As an Orangeman from Ulster I believe only in going up the traditional route,” said Mr Wilson.