Seven year old Daniel Lafferty of Bundoran, County Donegal has spoken of his fears that the body of Christ that he believes people eat from at Mass will run out of flesh to carve off before he is due to make his first Holy Communion next year, leaving him hundreds of Euro down.
“I know Jesus was alive a very, very long time ago,” says Daniel, “2000 years ago I think, which is a lot of years, so when I hear the Father say at Mass that they are eating from the Body of Christ I get really scared as I see them in my head very carefully slicing very thin wee bits off his legs and arms and belly to make Communion wafers with. There are lots of chunks missing from him as they’ve been eating him for so long that there is hardly anything left. If they don’t have enough left by the time I go to make my First Communion next year I’ll not get any money,” he finished, before sticking his lip out and looking morosely at the ground.
Daniel’s parish priest Father McFutterer laughed off Daniel’s fears as the wild imaginings of a child. “Ha ha, children will believe anything,” said Fr. McFutterer. “As proper grownups we know that Jesus magics normal bread into his body and that is what we eat. When Daniel grows up he’ll laugh at how silly his childish beliefs are compared to what we as adults believe.”